Татьяна
Copyright, translations
Work description:
We are all familiar with life situations when an obstacle in the form of a third person arises between lovers or young married couples. It could be a lover or mistress, a mother-in-law who, deliberately or unknowingly, destroys family happiness. Most often, the intrusion of a third person into the world of two lovers ends in discord. But what if this third one becomes a child? Of course, it is a great joy for both parents if the child is wanted, and all the more long-awaited. But life is such a thing that everything happens quite the opposite, and many married couples break up after the birth of a child.
Jealousy syndrome.
If both parents are ready for the birth of a child, then they both understand that responsibility falls on the shoulders of both the father and the mother and they try in every way to support each other. Only in harmony between the parents and joint focus on their baby is the joy of fatherhood and motherhood born. And then the birth of the baby strengthens the marriage even more and makes the family complete and happy.
But this does not always happen. Many young parents who decided to have a child after several years of marriage face difficulties that not everyone is able to overcome. In many families, after the birth of a child, discord occurs, which often leads to divorce. Why does this happen? Psychologists explain this by the immaturity of one of the parents, and in some cases - of both.
It happens that during the wife's pregnancy the husband surrounds her with love and care, and after the baby is born, all of this evaporates somewhere. And it is here that the problems begin. While the mother completely devotes herself to the newborn, the spouse begins to make claims, reproaching that he is not given proper attention. As always, newfound "friends" appear who will give "advice", sympathize, pour a drink, offer a shoulder to cry on. As a result, the husband returns home after work and begins to lecture his wife as his "friends" taught him.
After a number of such quarrels, the woman most often withdraws into herself, giving all her love only to the child and completely ignoring her husband. In response to this, the man begins to behave like a teenager during the transitional age. At this moment he becomes easy prey for some lady. And then... it depends only on the spouses.
Such a situation arises most often because of the spouse's immaturity. Previously, all the attention went only to him, and now he has to share his beloved woman with the baby. The situation in itself is absurd. How can you be jealous of your wife over... your baby? But, alas, this paradox does exist in real life.
I am firmly convinced that in any situation both are to blame. Therefore, you cannot blame only the man. Let him be possessive, let him not be ready for fatherhood. Then the woman should be doubly wise to show him all the joy of the birth of a child, to teach him to share these pleasant chores together with her.
But most often the mother completely focuses on her baby, forgetting about the family hearth, the household and her husband. All the love is transferred from the husband to the child. But she needs to understand that now love and care must be shared between two. The child will develop more harmoniously if it feels warmth from both parents. And for this, the woman should accustom the young father to help her care for the baby in order to free up time for running the household and caring for her husband.
The help of specialists.
I am a fierce opponent of moms and dads interfering in the family affairs of their children. They create their own family precisely in order to learn from their own experience and to get their bumps from their own mistakes. But sometimes the intervention of elders is simply necessary. Heart-to-heart conversations with parents can help to see the situation from a different angle. But this does not always save the day.
Abroad, for a long time now no problem is solved without a family psychologist. And this is not bad. The consultation and help of a specialist is simply necessary in a confusing situation. Psychologists help save many marriages. But here our mentality is completely different, and psychologists are perceived as an enemy of the people. This, as I already said, is a cost of mentality. Our people are not used to discussing their problems with absolute strangers, even if those are in white coats.
And that is a pity. After all, it is precisely the family psychologist who can show that there is no problem at all. He can lead the young couple out of delusion and the labyrinth of their own grievances and illusions. If two people love each other and want to preserve the marriage, then why not turn for advice to an experienced specialist?
As they say, it is easier to prevent a disease than to cure it. I say this because nowadays a large number of courses for future parents are open. Pregnant women together with their husbands come to learn the art of being real parents, and not just biological fathers and mothers.
If a crisis has occurred in your family after the birth of a baby, do not rush to act rashly. Remember that a child must grow up in a healthy environment and a complete family. Do not neglect the advice of specialists. Discover the world anew together with your baby. And be happy!
We are all familiar with life situations when an obstacle in the form of a third person arises between lovers or young married couples. It could be a lover or mistress, a mother-in-law who, deliberately or unknowingly, destroys family happiness. Most often, the intrusion of a third person into the world of two lovers ends in discord. But what if this third one becomes a child? Of course, it is a great joy for both parents if the child is wanted, and all the more long-awaited. But life is such a thing that everything happens quite the opposite, and many married couples break up after the birth of a child.
Jealousy syndrome.
If both parents are ready for the birth of a child, then they both understand that responsibility falls on the shoulders of both the father and the mother and they try in every way to support each other. Only in harmony between the parents and joint focus on their baby is the joy of fatherhood and motherhood born. And then the birth of the baby strengthens the marriage even more and makes the family complete and happy.
But this does not always happen. Many young parents who decided to have a child after several years of marriage face difficulties that not everyone is able to overcome. In many families, after the birth of a child, discord occurs, which often leads to divorce. Why does this happen? Psychologists explain this by the immaturity of one of the parents, and in some cases - of both.
It happens that during the wife's pregnancy the husband surrounds her with love and care, and after the baby is born, all of this evaporates somewhere. And it is here that the problems begin. While the mother completely devotes herself to the newborn, the spouse begins to make claims, reproaching that he is not given proper attention. As always, newfound "friends" appear who will give "advice", sympathize, pour a drink, offer a shoulder to cry on. As a result, the husband returns home after work and begins to lecture his wife as his "friends" taught him.
After a number of such quarrels, the woman most often withdraws into herself, giving all her love only to the child and completely ignoring her husband. In response to this, the man begins to behave like a teenager during the transitional age. At this moment he becomes easy prey for some lady. And then... it depends only on the spouses.
Such a situation arises most often because of the spouse's immaturity. Previously, all the attention went only to him, and now he has to share his beloved woman with the baby. The situation in itself is absurd. How can you be jealous of your wife over... your baby? But, alas, this paradox does exist in real life.
I am firmly convinced that in any situation both are to blame. Therefore, you cannot blame only the man. Let him be possessive, let him not be ready for fatherhood. Then the woman should be doubly wise to show him all the joy of the birth of a child, to teach him to share these pleasant chores together with her.
But most often the mother completely focuses on her baby, forgetting about the family hearth, the household and her husband. All the love is transferred from the husband to the child. But she needs to understand that now love and care must be shared between two. The child will develop more harmoniously if it feels warmth from both parents. And for this, the woman should accustom the young father to help her care for the baby in order to free up time for running the household and caring for her husband.
The help of specialists.
I am a fierce opponent of moms and dads interfering in the family affairs of their children. They create their own family precisely in order to learn from their own experience and to get their bumps from their own mistakes. But sometimes the intervention of elders is simply necessary. Heart-to-heart conversations with parents can help to see the situation from a different angle. But this does not always save the day.
Abroad, for a long time now no problem is solved without a family psychologist. And this is not bad. The consultation and help of a specialist is simply necessary in a confusing situation. Psychologists help save many marriages. But here our mentality is completely different, and psychologists are perceived as an enemy of the people. This, as I already said, is a cost of mentality. Our people are not used to discussing their problems with absolute strangers, even if those are in white coats.
And that is a pity. After all, it is precisely the family psychologist who can show that there is no problem at all. He can lead the young couple out of delusion and the labyrinth of their own grievances and illusions. If two people love each other and want to preserve the marriage, then why not turn for advice to an experienced specialist?
As they say, it is easier to prevent a disease than to cure it. I say this because nowadays a large number of courses for future parents are open. Pregnant women together with their husbands come to learn the art of being real parents, and not just biological fathers and mothers.
If a crisis has occurred in your family after the birth of a baby, do not rush to act rashly. Remember that a child must grow up in a healthy environment and a complete family. Do not neglect the advice of specialists. Discover the world anew together with your baby. And be happy!
Freelancer contacts:
E-mail: Show e-mail
