Many young women and men think about family life. The most exciting question concerns the number of children in a family. This question worries not only beginners, but also fairly experienced parents.
Let's try to figure out how the decision about the number of children in a family is made.
In the past, the number of children in a family was much greater than it is now. Boys became excellent helpers around the household, and girls became homemakers. Now everything is different. No one thinks of having children in order to gain an extra pair of working hands. On the contrary, many consider the arrival of children a serious financial problem and an obstacle to advancing up the career ladder. The appearance of numerous means of contraception helps to avoid unwanted pregnancy.
Recently, more and more people have been thinking about large families. Such people honor traditions, religious precepts, and look to the example of parenting practice. For instance, if a famous singer or actress has three children in her family, this can become an incentive for some to have a second or even a third child. Children are able to regulate the psychological climate in a family and are an indicator of family life. And all that is required of parents is to respond to their children's troubles, give them attention, support them with advice and deeds, and be friends with their own children.
If you love children dearly, you will not be afraid of responsibility and will keep your joy when interacting with children. Such a quality is innate. It can be possessed by a person who in childhood was steeped in the love of adults. This love grows together with the person and bears its fruit. Every teacher has a certain age of children with whom they work best. It is precisely the age of their own childhood in which they received the most love and attention from adults. This attention and love could have come not only from parents, but also from grandmothers, caregivers, and teachers.
There are situations when interaction with children is based on psychological defense mechanisms. Many adults live with the desire to compensate for their own childhood through raising children. Some may simply do this as proof that they too can be a good father or mother.
Such motives can arise in adults under the influence of a negative experience of communicating with children. This experience is a strong emotional trial that one must someday go through. It will certainly help one to emerge from the crisis of a lack of parental love.
Overcoming such a crisis will help an adult develop parental qualities within themselves. One can derive pleasure from the parental role only after passing through all the trials. For people who deal with children out of a lack of inner strength, additional sources will help. One such source is marital love.
In many families, a single child is being raised. And some are ready to give birth almost every year. The love of spouses can limit appetites regarding the number of children in a family, or it can lead to "overfulfilling the plan." For example, the husband wants ten children, and the wife wants one. As a result, they have three. Both are happy. And the happy father will live to see ten grandchildren. Such steps toward each other are able only to strengthen marital love, although they require some effort.
Doubt between partners puts the birth of children seriously in question. The place of children is usually taken by other values. In such a situation, one needs to look within oneself, and if that does not work, turn to a psychologist.
There are cases when spouses do not strive to have children because of the satisfaction of their own needs. Moreover, these needs are competitive in nature and imposed by society. For society, higher education, a profession, and achievements are important. Right now, the human need for personal comfort is developing. And this requires enormous psychological and material investments. Many are fixated precisely on this rather than on having children. Besides, in every adult there lives a child who also requires attention and love. Often the inner child requires many investments for its own "completion of upbringing."
Before having children, it is necessary to weigh all the pros and cons. Often the difficulties that must be faced for the sake of having a first child pose a huge obstacle in planning subsequent children. Before the birth of each next child stands the resolution of questions concerning the difficulties that may arise.
For the sake of a first child, people are ready to face a great deal - material difficulties, worsening living conditions, lack of rest, and so on. When planning a second child, the increase in workload and the reduction of rest time to a minimum are taken into account. The arrival of a third child is associated with worsening living conditions and difficulty in the parents' professional fulfillment. The arrival of subsequent children brings the family into the status of a "large family." Housing and everyday difficulties move into the category of necessary life tasks.
The number of children in a family directly depends on a woman's reproductive capacity and a man's health. The material, spiritual, and social development of the family plays a large role. A person has the property of changing. Their health also changes. The surrounding society and the influence of society on the person change. It is impossible to swim against the current. One has to come to terms with and submit to certain principles that prevail in the world.
The main task of parents is to raise a worthy person. Not every parent can boast of knowledge in the field of pedagogy. The maximum degree of psychological responsibility for one's actions is achieved in families with no more than 5-6 people, including the parents. In such a family, there are no rigid, fixed relationships between family members. This helps to solve many problems.
Article author
Алексей
Алексей
